I seem to have come to the critical cross-over into adult life before I wanted to leave the dream like life of my childhood and youth. I am referring to the narrative line that I am pursuing at the present time and not the sequence of the lived history that floats in and out of my ruminations.
My intentions when I started this rambling reminiscence were to be aware of my audience, to be positive, and to be accurate in the ethical/legal sense, to be authentic in the spiritual/religious sense, and to be true to my theological convictions. The scope of these ideal impulses was not carefully thought out, and I have run my creative energy into many unexpected but slightly frustrating dilemmas. Those who have encouraged my efforts have skills that are helpful in sensing what may best nourish the needs of so many of the audience that I want to address in this odyssey that is still in progress and so is always on the cusp of some crisis, of some anxiety peak.
This leads to the conundrum of sounding so self-centered and unaware of which audience I am addressing, that everyone wants to help me get on the track of their needs. I feel the legitimacy of these kindnesses, and have with effort attempted to adjust the structure and style of my writing to address their suggestions, and have found myself comfortable and pleased with the results so far. However, I seem often on the edge of a perilous precipice that calls for the gentle help of a compassionate councilor to guide me away from the catastrophe and mire of “despond”. And so I give notice that I may at times change the topic of my musing. At such times, I am asking my reader to be patient while I re-adjust.